Soul Healing: Going Within

On Thursday, 2/12, I had a more difficult time waking & getting up. It just felt like I had no energy. I dove silently into my work as a Department of Defense, Management Analyst at my normal start time of 8 a.m. After about 1.5 hours, I really began feeling super sluggish. I noticed my eyes were stinging and watery. I decided I needed to listen to my body, so I sent a request to use leave to my manager. I set my Out of Office message for email and started wrapping up for the day. I had only worked 2 of my planned 9 hours.

I went to tell my husband I was taking off work ,as I wasn't feeling well, when I noticed my voice was gone. I had a virus a couple of weeks ago & felt the effects of it lingering on, like swollen glands. I've been diagnosed with autoimmune, as I have a speckled ANA pattern. Last year I was going to doctors to attempt to narrow that diagnosis down, as well as, treat some spine problems. It was getting expensive and time consuming. We are hoping a move from Maryland to Florida will have several health benefits.

Anyways, on Thursday, I decided to accept my body was telling me it needed to heal. I got into bed, put some saline into my irritated eyes, took some holistic remedies and alternated between reading and sleeping. I surrendered my health and healing to the Angels. They are messengers of the Divine and healing is one of their many specialties. I also felt that the time to rest was Divinely orchestrated, as I felt the inspiration for new projects to begin in the near future.

Friday was a scheduled day off of work. It was also the day of the Home Inspection, related to the sale of our house. I got up, got dressed and ready. Then, we headed out. We went out to a nice breakfast, however, my stomach did not respond nicely to the food. Then we ventured into a bookstore that has a Starbucks in it, where we waited for the inspection to be over. I sipped on some tea and had some Bismuth for my stomach. We arrived back home during the early part of the afternoon. Upon arrival, I climbed back into bed and napped. When I'd wake up, I'd read a little bit. I was still in the surrender and heal state of mind.

Yesterday morning, my stomach was still a bit upset. My husband had given me a special breakfast in bed for Valentine's Day. I was sure that after eating that I'd be up doing this and that to prepare for our upcoming move; however, I felt like a huge wave of tiredness swept over me. Before I knew it, it had gone from mid-morning to mid-afternoon. Last evening, I began to feel that I was tired of resting and healing. I proclaimed I was better, though clearly from the crackled sound of my voice it was not true. 

I did complete the book I was reading, as well as, do much research about it. I read Sonia Choquette's book called "Walking Home" about walk along the Camino de Santiago. She mentioned meeting a Shaman. I just had to find out more about the shaman, which I did. I am that way about research. 

So last night when I announced to my family that I felt like maybe I should stay up all night and get something done, they laughed and said that I was still healing and while I had not moved too much that I had accomplished a lot. They pointed to my completion of the book and research. Well, they did have a point and as bed time rolled around I did feel tired. Not only did I fall asleep without effort, I slept soundly for 12 hours.

I did have more energy this morning, but do realize I am still healing. My voice is still messed up and my sinuses and ears are still full. I tend to get quite impatient with myself. The temperature is in the teens with wind chill in the negative teens. It snowed yesterday and the wind is howling. The National Weather Service indicated ,due to the wind chill, people should stay inside. So I'm taking it easy today, as well. I did a bit of Facebooking earlier today and watched a movie about Shamanic Healing. I'm about to work on some light packing for our approaching move. I have tomorrow off of work, as well, because it is President's Day, which is a National Holiday.

I've spent a lot of time being still and quiet during the last few days. Not only has it been a time for healing, but also a time of delving into myself and reflecting. I choose now not to be hard on myself for allowing myself to get sick and needing time to rest and heal. But rather, I choose to honor myself for listening to my body and spirit, for allowing myself to delve in deeper. The words above speak more to what I physically did, but not the journey I took. I looked inside and saw areas needing forgiveness. I acknowledged soul lessons and agreements. While I work on my light packing, I will be mentally and emotionally packing happy memories and acknowledging and releasing thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me. As I release I honor those events, thoughts & emotions for the lessons they have brought to my life. 

Thank you Angels for this time to heal on so many levels. Thank you for bringing me clear signs and symbols and those that I had to peel away some layers to find. I am grateful for the quiet, reflective solitude as I read, researched and watched and the time afterward. I feel so blessed to be able to experience and recognize the miracles in my life. And so it is.